Reflections
I learned that types of problematic group members include, the monopolist who dominates the group and devalues the task or leader, the silent member who may feel inadequate and fearful of self-disclosure, the self-deprecator who always puts themselves down, the help-rejecting complainer who self-victimises and frequently refuses the very help they asked for from the group, and the narcissist who seeks attention (Lindsay & Orton, 2014).
I learned patience when I was working with two of my charges, Jordan and Parker (both not real names).
Jordan is a silent member because I did not hear a single word from her, much less a full sentence, throughout the entire programme. In the best-case scenario, she might nod or shake her head when one of my groupmates ask her something, but in my experience, she just ignores me completely.
I understand that it is most likely because she feels out of place being the only female in the group, and none of her friends is there with her, but it's still disheartening to have one-sided conversations with her.
Many of her peers also share my sentiment but unfortunately, some are very vocal about it and clearly feel resentment towards her because she is blocking the group’s progress, while a few tried to help her out by explaining to us that Jordan does not talk to people outside of her group of friends.
Naturally, this drove a wedge between the children and Jordan was alienated more than she was before by her peers.
On the other hand, I believe Parker to be a narcissistic member. Like Jordan, he is very detached from the group, but unlike her, he demands constant and undivided attention of the group.
During the second session when we were outdoors, Parker would wander off from the group when no one was paying attention to him and only return when one of my group members went to find him.
Afterwards, when we kept a close eye on him so that he would not stray from the group again, he felt bored again and started drifting off. It was not until we gave him another chance to answer questions and reluctantly entertained his wisecracks that he finally cooperated for a short period of time.
Two of the children got into an argument because of a balloon that burst. If I recall correctly, one told the other off for tapping the balloon too hard, causing it to burst, while the accused claimed to have done no such thing. It got heated quickly and the accused started to cry.
A teacher had to intervene and while she was asking for the details from the two children involved, Parker thought it would be appropriate for him to add fuel to the fire and make fun of the crying child. He was of course scolded by the teacher and I had to drag him away from the children before he made things worse.
This learning matters because I am not a very patient person and it could be quite easy to get on my nerves if you know my pet peeves. However, the children are still young and learning, so it is unreasonable for me to hold it against them, especially since Jordan likely had no intention of being impolite and I will give Parker the benefit of doubt and assume that he means no harm too.
​In light of this learning, I will manage my emotions better, as well as adhere to the “Stop-Think-Do” framework when I feel that I am unable to deal with the situation so that I can cool down and see things from the brighter side instead of feeling frustrated.
I do not know if the facilitation skills to deal with problematic behaviours work because when it comes to Jordan, I do not know how to approach her since she does not speak to us at all, and I am afraid of saying the wrong thing.
As for Parker, he does not appear to have much of a relationship with his peers, but I could be misinformed, so I do not know what we could do to improve their relationship so that his peers would be willing to support him. (700 words)
References
Lindsay, T., & Orton, S. (2014). Groupwork practice in social
work (3rd ed.). Los Angeles, CA: Sage